Direct Reports: Arrogant vs Demanding😏😫
Good morning, readers!!!👋
Did you have a nice Holiday?🎄
Why is the difference more significant than you realise, and how leaders ought to react?
If you’ve been in a management role for a while, you’ve probably faced both:
The overconfident direct report 😏 who acts as if they’re more intelligent than everyone around them.
The high-maintenance direct report 😫 who is always asking for more, more clarity, more resources, more speed, more growth...
At first glance, these two types may appear alike🤷♂️🤷♀️: both challenge you, both generate tension, both can sap your energy during a hectic week.
However, the reality is: they originate from entirely different motivations, and they necessitate distinct leadership approaches.
Mistaking one for the other is among the most frequent (and expensive) management errors.🚨
The Arrogant Direct Report 😏
What it looks like:👇
- Dominates conversations in meetings
- Ignores feedback with comments like, “That won’t work”, or “I already knew that”
- Claims credit for successes while blaming others for failures
- Questions decisions in public but shies away from accountability in private
What’s really going on:🧠
- Arrogance typically stems from insecurity rather than strength; it acts as a defence mechanism:
- Fear of being unmasked
- Fear of losing their position
- Fear of not being as competent as they seem
- The arrogant direct report cares less about results and more about safeguarding their ego. The risk, if unchecked:⚠️
- Team spirit diminishes
- Psychological safety vanishes
- Top performers become disengaged or depart
- Collaboration turns impossible
How leaders should respond:🎯
- Establish clear behavioural limits; performance does not justify disrespect
- Provide direct, specific feedback; ambiguous feedback allows arrogance to thrive
- Link influence to impact, not volume; reward results, not assertiveness
- Avoid excessive accommodation; over-tolerance reinforces the behaviour
Arrogance doesn’t require motivation; it requires accountability.
The Challenging Direct Report 😫
What it entails:👇
- Asks numerous questions
- Seeks clearer priorities and quicker decisions
- Question limitations ("Why can’t we improve?")
- Strongly advocates for their team or work
What’s truly happening:🧠
- High expectations
- A sense of ownership
- A wish to excel or achieve greatness
- Frustration with inefficiency or lack of clarity
Unlike arrogance, demanding behaviour is typically focused on results rather than ego.
The danger of misinterpretation:⚠️
- They risk being labelled as “difficult"
- Their enthusiasm may turn into frustration or burnout
- You might lose a potential leader because they feel ignored
Many demanding direct reports leave not out of ingratitude, but because they feel underappreciated.🚶♀️🚶♂️
A Final Word to Managers:✨
Not every challenge poses a threat.⚔️
Not every point of friction indicates dysfunction.🔧
Your role isn’t to remove tension; it’s to understand it accurately.📖
Address arrogance promptly before it taints the culture.☠️
Cultivate high-performing talent before they conclude you’re not worth their time.🚀
One undermines teams; the other, when guided effectively, creates outstanding ones.⬇️🔥
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