Meetings That could Be Emails☎️📧
Good morning, readers!!!👋
How are you doing today?!
Greetings, tired wanderer of corporate turmoil.
Today, we come together—not in a conference room, but take a breath to pay tribute to one of the most significant productivity sinkholes of our era:
Meetings That Could’ve Been Emails.🎉💀📧
Indeed, those grand, energy-sapping assemblies where a dozen individuals show up on screen (or opt out), gaze vacantly, and feign that this absolutely could not have been summarised in a concise three-bullet-point email dispatched at 8:17 AM.
Ah, the all-too-familiar ping of doom: "You’ve been invited to a meeting." How thrilling.
You click on the invite and it states: Agenda: Discuss the email we’re going to send.
Classic. 🤦♂️🤦♀️
The meeting kicks off; everyone wears the same look: that grin you put on when your webcam is active but your enthusiasm is absent.
"Let’s do a quick round of updates!" Quick, indeed. ⏳
Thirty minutes later, you’ve learned Diane’s dog’s name 🐶, Kyle’s weekend itinerary 🏄, and that Sharon is still "waiting on that data" 📉.
All of which could’ve been summed up in a 2-line email!!!
"Five minutes!" they exclaim. Five eternities, they truly mean. ⏱️➡️🕳️
These gatherings evolve into grand tales filled with side stories, screen-sharing mishaps, and at least one person forgetting the purpose of the meeting. 🤷♂️
Nothing challenges patience quite like observing someone scroll through a document at a snail's pace, reading every single line.
A PDF would have sufficed. A sticky note. A hieroglyph. Anything.📄➡️🙃
A timeless classic: Someone fervently giving a speech for 45 seconds only to realise… they're muted. 😶
Could this have been written down? Certainly.
Will it ever be? Unlikely. ✍️🚫
This exemplifies the height of unnecessary meeting culture.
Assembling everyone just so one person can narrate an email like it’s a soothing bedtime story for the corporate world. 🛌📚😴
Absolutely astonishing. Worthy of an award. Excruciating.
What Causes These Meetings?
- One person craves "visibility" 👀
- Another enjoys the sound of their own voice 🎤
- Yet another dreads the task of composing a straightforward email ✏️
Human nature is truly fascinating...
Emails never require you to activate your camera. 🎥
Emails never take your lunch away. 🍔
Emails allow you to disregard them in tranquillity. 🧘♂️
Emails represent true freedom.
In Summary, before you set up your next meeting, consider the following:
- Is there a genuine need for a discussion? 🗣️
- Could this be condensed into three bullet points? • • •
- Will anyone have difficulty with screen sharing? 🖥️
- Would I prefer to eat a stapler? 📎
If you answered yes to any of these... Please, I implore you. Send An Email!
Help a colleague. Become a hero.
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