Being an Intern👶
Good morning, readers!!!👋
How are you doing today?!
So, you’ve secured an internship. Kudos to you!
You’ve officially stepped into the unpaid (or underpaid) trenches of the contemporary job market — a dazzling nightmare filled with Slack notifications 💬, "quick syncs" 📅, and subtly hostile emojis 🙂.
You’ve put in the effort to get here. You dispatched 87 job applications ✉️, crafted 26 tailored cover letters ✍️, and tackled an online assessment that felt like a twisted blend of the SAT and a personality quiz.
But now, you’ve made it. You possess a badge 🪪, a desk (if fortune smiles upon you), and a nebulous job description that could encompass just about anything.
Welcome aboard. You’re officially an intern now.
You believed you were brought on board to "assist with strategic initiatives" How charming.
What you’re really doing: endlessly formatting PowerPoint slides 📊 until your eyesight fades, jotting down "detailed notes" 📝 in meetings that could have easily been emails, and feigning comprehension of terms like "OKR" and "QBR" while hoping no one asks you to explain them 🙃.
Every intern experiences this stage. Eventually, you’ll become so eager to contribute that you’ll volunteer for a task only to discover it’s merely more data entry masquerading as "process optimisation."
The modern intern’s greatest threat: the surprise Slack notification.
"Hey, quick question — do you have a moment?" No. You never have a moment!
That notification is the digital version of a horror film jump scare.
You’ll find yourself staring at your screen, attempting to interpret the tone behind the absence of emojis.
Are you in trouble?😬 Are you about to receive a new task?😭
The answer: it doesn’t matter. You’ll respond with, "Sure! :)" because you’re afraid of being perceived as unapproachable.
You will find yourself in so many meetings that your perception of time will begin to fade ⏳.
Morning check-ins, status updates, syncs, retrospectives, all-hands, and one-on-ones — all aimed at exploring the potential for work to occur.
You’ll soon discover that “collaboration” in today’s workplace frequently translates to “everyone chatting in circles while one person shares their screen for 45 minutes.” 😵💫
Your role? Appear engaged. Nod from time to time. Type something in a Google Doc to give the impression that you’re “tracking action items.” 🧑💻
Your employer will insist they have a “fantastic culture.”
There are bright slogans plastered on the walls — phrases like “Innovate. Collaborate. Elevate.” — and a Slack channel named #GoodVibesOnly 🌈.
Don’t be misled.
The complimentary LaCroix in the fridge does not equate to culture.
The uncomfortable “virtual happy hour” where no one activates their camera?
Not culture. The one colleague who insists on saying “Let’s circle back” instead of “I’ll think about it”? Absolutely not culture. 🍻
The true culture is you, searching online for how to politely express “What?” in an email.
At some point, you’ll come to a realisation:
"Wait. Is this what full-time adulthood feels like?" 😨
It’ll strike you right between your third iced coffee ☕ and your 2 p.m. spreadsheet.
You’ll find yourself staring at your screen, packed with KPIs and deliverables, and softly murmur, "Is this... it?"
The answer is both yes and no!
You’re figuring out how the system operates.
You’re mastering the art of smiling through confusion, pretending to understand what "circling back on next steps" entails, and learning to mute your mic before you let out an audible sigh of frustration 🔇.
Then, one day, it all comes to an end... Your internship wraps up.
You’ve navigated the jargon, the meetings, and the "quick favours."
You’ve formed friendships, rivalries, and at least one Google Sheet so massive it could be considered modern art 🧩.
You’ll compose your final email:
"It’s been such a pleasure working with you all! I’ve gained so much knowledge and will carry these experiences into the future."
Translation: "I am free. Never @ me again." 🕊️
Being an intern in today’s job market feels like swimming in a pool filled with acronyms, calendar invites, and iced coffee.
You might feel lost 🤔, energised ☕, and sometimes overwhelmed by the pressure of “synergy.”
But remember — you’re gaining knowledge. You’re evolving 🌱.
And you’re doing it all while wearing a smile that screams, “I’m absolutely fine and definitely not questioning my existence.” 😅
So keep pushing through, intern!
The contemporary workplace might be a labyrinth of buzzwords and exhaustion, but at least you’ll emerge with a LinkedIn update that reads:
“Thankful for this life-changing experience 🙏🚀 #growth #teamwork #learning”
And that, my friend, is the real definition of success... 🏆
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