The Handover🫴🗎
Good morning, dear readers! I hope you are all doing wonderfully.👐
Are you prepared to tickle your funny bone? Today, I will explore the revered tradition of the handvoer!
The revered ceremony of the handover in global corporations.⛩️
You see, it's that legendary creature that everyone acts as if it's a smooth operation, but in truth, it's a mix of a treasure hunt, a counselling session, and a Greek tragedy.🎭
Ah, the handover: that serious rite of passage in multinational corporations, where one exhausted employee leaves and another is welcomed in, holding nothing but optimism, caffeine, and a bulging inbox.
In theory, this is a commendable process, a tidy exchange of knowledge from the experienced veteran to the eager newcomer.👴
In reality, it resembles a practical joke: a blend of poor documentation, countless calls, and the gradual understanding that no one truly knows how anything operates.
However, the reality resembles A haphazardly tossing a Word document last updated in the prehistoric era of corporate software—2018—while muttering, “Ignore most of it, it’s all false.” 🤥
When B finally musters the courage to peruse it, they stumble upon mentions of tools that have long vanished, procedures that have transformed like mutated lizards, and a solitary gem of insight hidden within a sarcastic remark: “Be wary of Raj’s figures after lunch.”🐺
Clearly, written documentation alone is insufficient, which is why the calendar starts to become crowded with meetings.
Not just one or two, but a staggering seventeen distinct "handover sessions," spanning at least three different time zones, each featuring a diverse group of participants.
Some will remain silent, while others will join from airport lounges, exclaiming, "Can you hear me now?" and everyone will feign that the flickering PowerPoint presentation before them conveys any real clarity.🗨️
Each session kicks off as "just a quick sync" and concludes, ninety minutes later, with everyone feeling exhausted, bewildered, and armed with a few more screenshots of Jira boards that no one comprehends.
It seems, however, that progress has been achieved.🚧
Then arrives the grand finale—the vanishing act, on their final day, A becomes a corporate Houdini.🧙
They send a cheerful farewell email to 27 recipients, half of whom have no clue who they are, attach a file titled Final_Handover_V3_ActualFinal_REALLYFinal.zip, and disappear.🎩
Upon opening the zip, one finds corrupt PDFs and a spreadsheet so oversized that it crashes Excel immediately.
When B, predictably confused, attempts to reach out, A is already marked as “offline indefinitely” and can now only be contacted through a séance or LinkedIn, where they are proudly sharing their thrilling new position at a rival company.⌨️
The reality is that the handover is not merely a process—it’s a form of performance art.🎨
Every multinational company promises that it will enhance knowledge management by “next quarter,” yet the cycle continues without end: lost files, frustrations due to time zones, and falsehoods masquerading as documentation.
And maybe that’s just the way it must be.💂
In a twisted sense, the disorder is what unites us across borders and organisational charts.
Without it, what would we have to grumble about during happy hour?🍹
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